Just in case I haven’t mentioned this before

I hate Windows Vista. I hate it with a passion. I also hate Toshiba with a similar passion. I do not know how their unholy synergy of suck was created. I do not know if it was some strange coincidence, or they got together and conspired to make pure and unadulterated shit. I dream at night of finding the bastard responsible and punching him in the balls. I’m not making that up; I’ve had that dream. It was fantastic.

My laptop has not been connected to the internet in months. Many of them. The only things it does are run open office, adobe acrobat, and occasionally Starcraft. Yet it so god damned slow it boggles my mind. Sometimes during the night I’ll have nothing but a word processor open, and it will steadily slow down and chug slower and slower, while the baleful eye of “HD Access” glows a more malignantly until the fucking thing comes to a total fucking halt and fucks the fuck off for fucking fifty fucking minutes. What the fuck is it doing!? NOTHING is running. Nothing! I’ve turned off auto backup, because that sucks like a tai hooker reincarnated as a hoover vacuum cleaner. I turned off auto defrag because I do that myself. I know it doesn’t have a virus because the fucking piece of shit hasn’t been hooked up to a network in fucking months. I ran an antivirus scan after the last time I plugged it in to anything. What in the name of shit is wrong with this piece of shit? Stop fucking doing whatever the fuck you’re doing and do what I tell you to, which ain’t much.

I desperately want to find someone responsible so I can hurt them. I will do things to them we don’t have laws against yet. I will do things with fire and metal that self cauterize and keep doing them for hours. Because I hate you, Microsoft, and you, Toshiba. It’s become part of my personal religion.


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One Response to “Just in case I haven’t mentioned this before”

  1. My Toshiba shit the bed the last month. It made it through most of the deployment however to be honest, for 7 of those months it was in my can which was fairly protected from the elements. Final month was spent at a FOB with grunts, tents, sandstorms, things I’m sure you are as uncomfortably sexually familiar with as I am. (”Intimate” just isn’t a strong enough word.)

    And side note, I never thought dirt could have its own odor. Sinjar taught me otherwise.

    But yes, Toshi’s CD/DVD Rom died. How the fuck that happens when all I’ve been using has been external harddrives, I’m not sure. Then at some point–and this is on me, I’ll accept it–my week old virus definitions were not enough to protect my computer as it went out and had unprotected sex on an unsecure wireless network.

    Best Buy’s Geek Squad (I was home a week then it caught the virus) needed a CD/DVD rom that functioned to rescue my computer. They said it’d be within the ballpark of a $200 repair in addition to the $200 I already spent for the virus repair, etc. Then they said they’d refund the money if I wanted to put it towards a completely new laptop.

    Such as the brand new available Toshiba laptops going at what I had already invested into repairing my original Toshiba.

    I bought an HP. Fuck you Toshiba. Mia, I sympathize.

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