Deep Fried Puppies

I meant to put this up earlier, but didn’t get around to it. Here are some more of his creations, though most of the descriptions are in Russian. Neat way to think about and see history.

If you’re interested in the movie, there is a simple task you should probably complete first. Go to Youtube and watch a trailer. If you liked that trailer and want almost two more hours of that, watch the movie. If not, go watch Twilight or something you bleeding fairy.

“What’s he doing?”

“Hanging a pirate.”

“Gunnar, what are you doing?”

“Hanging a pirate.”

And done. It was the first scene, so I’m not exactly spoiling anything here. But that sort of set the tone for the rest of the movie. Huge, hilariously over the top fight action sequences filled with the EOD jump (That’s where you survive an explosion by jumping just as the shockwave hits you. It works. Really. But only if you’re screaming something macho.) and absurdly Freudian guns fill this movie. At the end of it I was laughing so hard my cheeks hurt, and I loved the movie. It is like Shoot ‘Em Up, only a little less silly.

You’ve got a bunch of dudes. They shoot people. There is a female cast member, but her job is to motivate the bunch of dudes to shoot more people. These dudes are so over-the-top that the cloud of macho eclipses the tropical sun, setting the final fight at night. It is hilarious. The dialogue directly and indirectly lampoons itself, while at the same time providing perfectly functional transition from scene to scene. Functional in that you know why you’re there, and it sure isn’t to hear philosophy.

Like Kill Bill, I thought the Expendables was both a spoof and homage to the source material. In case there’s any doubt, that source material is ’80s action flicks. It does an excellent job of telling the audience that yes, it knows how silly it is. If you have a problem with that, this is not the movie for you. But if you like lunacy by caliber, it delivers. There are a number of things in the movie that they could have done for maximum awesome, and they hit most of them. For example, Randy Couture, one of the UFC’s greatest stars, is in it. So too is Steve Austin. They are on opposing sides. The fight happens. It is awesome. When everything was finished, I wanted two hours more stupid. I hope they make a sequel, but I’m worried they might take it seriously, which would ruin all the fun.

Ultimately, the movie delivers exactly what it promises, and nothing more. Well, there might have been something more, but it blew up halfway through. If you want stupid ’80s action done with modern special effects and techniques, this is exactly that. If you want anything else, you have come to the wrong place. In conclusion, on a scale of the Punisher to Predator, I give it a .45 ACP. That’s on fire and explodes.

Yes, I know I have been absent from here for months (I know you all are really heartbroken about it), but I’ve been busy. That’s what happens when you take on a side project that then goes to shit. But I digress.

This is so funny, I had to take the time to post it.

And in case the craigslist posting is removed, here’s a screenshot of it.

1 million frames per second

Blowing some shit up. You know it’s fun.