Deep Fried Puppies

This will be a short post. Just found some things that amused me or made me scratch my head in puzzlement. This is what I find when I need a break from coding. First off, this is clearly the next coming thing. I wonder if we can buy stock in it? The weird thing is that it’s Italian. You’d think something like that would be more likely to be found in Japan. Because let’s be honest. Those people are just weird. I mean, let’s look at this fine item. Personally, I can’t wait till this hits the nearest department store. But really, who comes up with that? And then there’s this. WTF? The last one at the bottom of the page takes the cake. Not only is it weird, but it even promotes criminal behaviour. Just plain peculiar.

Just some cool things that have accumulated on my computer and should be shared with the world. Well, I guess, not really. But I’m going to share anyway, whether you like it or not. Tough.

First, a couple of good websites. This one is for when you want to laugh at the misfortunes (and often blatant stupidity) of your fellow man. And this one is for when you are not sure if you should go on a diet. Or join the Tour de France. If you’ve eaten anything on this site, then start pedaling.

Now for some fun images. I sadly don’t have much of a gift for creative narration like Miashara does, so I’m just going to list them and let the pics speak for themselves.

If you ever wondered if Sith lords need to drink, here’s your answer.

This and this defy explanation.

Thanks for warning a brotha.

Al Bundy has been found!

This chick is clearly trying to be the head girl for dirtygasstationbathroomwhores.com.

Beware of the media!

The gansta lifestyle is everywhere, transcending political affiliations, race, and fashion sense.

Must’ve been a slow news day.

I’m anxiously waiting to see what happens next. And praying for someone to do the cannonball.

Angry, vengeful life: 1, you: 0.

This woman is wasting my air.

These people are wasting my space. And the space of several thousand other people. Seriously, can you imagine the kids? Well, I can. Or maybe more like this?

This is a clear example of the government work ethic.

From afar and from up close. Neither is good.

The beginning of the next animal fight youtube video.

I love hockey fans.

“What up? Y’all got any smokes?

I probably would feel just like him.

And to finish up, we have the disturbing and the obscene.

I hope this all brightened up your morning a little.

A week or so ago Mia’s bro ClimbingGuru (in case you didn’t notice, I just make these names up by combining random words that float around in my head), AngryDrunk, and myself went out to a bar nearby where I live. There we met the definition of stupid. The conversation went like this:

Edereth: The person’s country of origin was once referred to as the “Red Country”. Where is this person from?

Stupid: Umm…. Minnesota?

E: What?! No, no, not “Red State”, “Red Country”. We’re not talking about Republican states here.

S: Oh! Okay. Umm… Texas?

E: No! Not states! Countries! Red COUNTRY!

AngryDrunk: She can’t be this dumb. She’s fucking with us, right?

S: ……

E: Look, I’ll give you a hint. The person in question’s name is [insert your favorite common Slavic name here].

S: Got it! Mexico!

E: !!!!!

ClimbingGuru: No. Not Mexico. (cracks up.)

E: This is hilarious. Wow. Okay, another hint. This country is very cold.

S: Umm…. Antartica?

E: HAHAHAHAHAHA

AD: Dude, you can’t be this stupid. It’s not possible! Stop fucking with us.

CG: No. Not Antartica. We’re talking about a country here, not continents. How about this hint. We were involved in a non-shooting war with this country for decades. Does that help?

S: ….. No.

CG: Jesus! Alright, alroght, this is the largest country in the world.

S: ….. Asia?

E: No! Not continents! Countries!

AG: Are you really this stupid?

S: Umm…. Africa?

Folks, I can’t make up stuff this good. This girl really couldn’t guess after all the hints we gave her. Finally we told her and moved on to talking about politics. The presidential debate just happened and of course that was what everyone talked about. Stupid was resoundingly pro-Obama, though she couldn’t tell us why or name a single issue that was important to her.  This, if you read the above, is not that surprising. She then decided to ask us where we all stood on the political spectrum. AngryDrunk is pro-Obama and said so. I’m still undecided, and mentioned this. ClimbingGuru, being a conservative, said:

CG: I’m a hundred miles right of Ronald Reagan.

S: …….

CG: Right of Ronald Reagan. Okay?

S: …… Who’s Ronald Reagan?

CG: ….. What?! Please, please do me a favor. Don’t vote. You’re too stupid to vote.

And yes, folks. She is too stupid to vote. So the moral of this story is “friends don’t let friends vote stupid”. Remember that. And study hard in your Geography class.

And out of the minds of some really depraved yet extremely business savvy people we get this fine product. All of you rear-challenged people out there living at the forefront of technological progress, this is your salvation. All of you people who must have the latest piece of designer fashion, run, it’s here. And all of you sexual deviants, sorry, this is just the strap.

Seriously, it hurts me to think that these people will make millions selling an ass strap. I don’t know if I should weep for the state of our society or invest. Probably both. Though someone should really reconsider the “Throng” slogan.

Let’s go. Good times, good times, but soon they shall end as I prepare for the vast journey, the great continental trek that shall bear me from places of laziness and smoke to towering mountains and precipitous plummeting. Never give up, never surrender, never forget. We three kings of slowly submerged suburbs where the deer and the antelope roam in tangential packs of cross contaminated herds say only this. I’m bringing sexy back.